I've always been the type of person that lives alone. I've tried the roommate route, but in all honesty, I'm pretty difficult to live with. I like things a certain way. I like my alone time. In having a roommate, I constantly feel like I have to put on a show and can't just have my peace. Plus, who really wants to fight over what to watch on TV all the time? For several years I had been living on my own in a decent sized one bedroom. I would get home and not have to worry about a thing. It was wonderful.
Last winter my boyfriend of a few years had asked me to move in with him. I had been looking for a new place and the timing just felt right. We began our search immediately and ended up finding something the both of us really liked. It seemed like it all happened so fast. A few weeks later we were all moved in. He had never lived with a significant other so there was going to be a lot of adjusting on his part. I had actually lived with a former boyfriend a few years back so I knew the drill. Things about boys: they are SUPER messy. Dusting is not a word in their vocabulary and neither is: laundry, dishes, mopping, scrubbing floors, toilets, and sharing - just to name a few.
The move in bliss didn't last too long before we started fighting like crazy. It's now been about a year and things are finally a little more cooled off. Both sides are still learning to co-exist. Some advice to all of you that are considering moving in with your significant other; make sure to get at least two bedrooms. There's nothing worse than having a fight and not being able to get away to your own space. I think it's saved us on many occasions. When you're living on top of someone, fights are bound to happen. It's being able to take some space and get a level head again that saves the relationship. Learn to let the little shit go. They are going to piss you off more in a day than they ever have before. You need to decide to yourself if it's worth a blow up. If not you need to just move on. COMMUNICATE. If both of you are getting annoyed at the little things someone is doing you need to talk about it with them. Letting it build and build is a sure fire way to drive yourself crazy and lead to something huge you may not be able to recover from.
Guys, I know us girls are a pain in the ass. We know it too. We don't like to hear we're ever wrong, some of us can be super needy at times when we're feeling low and we need you to show us some sign of understanding when we're talking to you. A quick word of advice to make living together more smooth:
1. Shut the damn video games off once in a while and spend time with your girlfriend. Her watching you beat the latest X-box game is NOT fun for her. Us girls don't really care that you just won the Superbowl on Madden. It just reminds us that you actually spent 10+ hours playing the thing in order to do that.
2. We know you guys are half-assed when you clean, but seeing you do it will make us smile.
3. If we're cooking you dinner, you need to come in on occasion and act interested and grateful.
4. If we do your laundry, for the love of god, put it the hell away and do NOT leave it sitting there for days. It's super aggravating.
5. Leave the effing toilet seat down. We do not like to wander into the bathroom in the middle of the night and have our ass hit the water. It really hurts and is just plain disgusting.
6. We know you couldn't give a flying rats ass about what our friends lives are like, but we need you to listen and act semi interested anyway. It shows that you care.
7. Don't be a remote commando. We enjoy watching TV and movies too. When you get home or decide that you're ready for bed, you do NOT come in and just take everything over. And for some of you guys, just because you may have bought the TV does NOT in anyway, shape or form mean that you always get to decide what goes on it.
8. The attitude of, "Well I bought that," needs to be left at the front door. If you ask someone to move in with you then you are in an understanding that you share everything in your new home with your lady. So let go of the selfishness or you'll be moving back into a place alone rather quickly. Nobody wants to put up with that.
I could go on, but I think I'll just keep it nice and simple. If you can nail those basic things you and your relationship will be in a much better place.
Love, Anonymous
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