Dear Customer,

 

 We have all seen it, and unfortunately for many of us, we have had to experience it at some point of our lives – whether it is just to put yourself through school or to pay the bills while you’re waiting for your big break. The money can be good at times, the hours surely suck, and having to deal with assholes on a regular basis is enough to send you home ready to smash your head through a wall. But for most, we just have to trek through it and bite our tongue – oh, the service industry.

I, personally, have been in the industry since I was 13 years old. I have been lucky enough to work at some great places where they actually treat their employees well but have also had the displeasure of working at some places where you can’t help but say, “Are you seriously asking me to do that?”

I remember working at a place in Florida where I constantly had annoying drunks who loved to grab my ass. I complained to my boss on many occasions about it and finally he turned to me and said, “Deal with it or I’ll find someone who will.”  After contemplating suing the shit out of them for allowing me to repeatedly be sexually harassed, I decided to just quit and cause a giant scene while doing so.  Drinks flew all over the place, a customer was punched several times in the face and I don’t think I have ever used the word “fuck” that much in my life.  My work there was done.

Now, when I go out to eat or drink with friends, I can’t help but get extremely irritated for how some of them treat their servers/bartenders. I’m never shocked when I ask them if they have ever worked as a server, and they say they have not.  I strongly believe that every person on this planet should have to work a minimum of one year in this horrible industry so they can walk a mile in the shoes of the people they are treating like shit. It may not be a job that requires you to have a PhD, but it’s a job that can be quite stressful and chaotic and, as they are humans, mistakes are bound to happen.

Tipping.

One main thing I see is people not tipping. I have actually heard a friend of mine say, “well they’re only pouring me a beer. Why should I leave them a tip?” Well, Sir, if you don’t believe you should pay someone for performing a service while you’re out at an establishment then how about you stay home and pour your own damn beer and not take their time away from another customer who understands the idea of paying for a service you are given.  Some people seem to forget that in many places these people are paid on average $2.00 - $4.00 an hour. Really, stop to think about that. Is it processing yet? And on top of it, it’s all taxed. They rely on your tips to eat, have a place to live and simply survive. Think to yourself right now; can you survive on that? I make a hell of a lot more than that at my job and I’m just scraping by half the time. So what makes you think they can? Now for all of you who sit there and calculate to the penny what your tips should be, are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how insulting it is for a person to walk around and pick up pennies after busting their ass for you? Loosen the purse straps a little and leave the bills. If you have to nickel and dime shit like that then maybe you should stay in and eat.

 

And now, for one of the biggest reasons I see servers getting docked: the food came out too slow. How is this their fault? If the kitchen was slow in cooking your food then why do you feel the need to take it out on them? They aren’t back there cooking it themselves. There is only so much they can do to make sure you get your steak in 15 minutes. They should NEVER have to suffer a loss in tips because of this, nor should they be yelled at for something they have absolutely no control over. Stop being a d-bag and use your head, please.

Your fucking ranch dressing.

One thing that always drove me crazy that people always seem to do is to order things one at a time. Why do you find this to be at all okay? If you have a large party, there is not a single reason in the world that warrants you to send a server back and forth 20 times. NOT ONE! But I have had/seen people at the table literally all order one drink at a time or ask for condiments one at a time. Is this really necessary? And then, when you don’t get EVERYTHING in seconds, to have the audacity to complain that they weren’t attentive to your needs. Trust me, you do NOT need that extra side of ranch dressing in order to have a good dinner, and when you don’t get it, that is NOT a reason for you to not tip a waitress. Especially if you look around and see she is slammed. Look down at your thighs and ass and see that I am right. You DO NOT need it, and as someone who has been a server, I can sure as shit tell you that most times people made a big deal about this, they didn’t even use the goddamn thing.  

FREE water.

I get that people drink water while they’re out, hell I’m one of them, but whether you are drinking water or a regular drink you should be tipping on this. If someone has to go out of their way to make you something and is performing a “service” then why is it okay not to? And for those of you that do not agree with me on this, fine. But don’t get pissed off when you don’t get your FREE refill to go along with it.

They’re human too.

Like everyone everywhere, we have our bad days, we get sick, we have to use the restroom, etc. Sometimes when you look around and we’re not in sight, remember this. I can’t tell you how many times I have had my tip docked because I was in the bathroom and didn’t rush right over. What would you like me to do? Piss as I’m walking around bringing you your ranch dressing and water? I highly doubt you would appreciate that. So cut your server some slack.  And your condescending jokes on the matter certainly don’t help.

Snap Snap Snap.

If we are in the middle of doing something or assisting another customer you can wait. Simple as that. You are not the most important person in the world. I don’t care how much your mother told you this growing up. I don’t give a damn if you’re famous of just another Joe Smith at the bar. Wait your turn. When they are through having to deal with someone else’s shit, I assure you they will get to you. Snapping at a server is demeaning, and I bet if we went to your place of work and starting doing that, you would get pretty pissed off. Also not okay: Grabbing us in ANY form. We are not your possessions. Keep your grubby little hands to yourselves. It’s really not a hard thing to do. It’s disrespectful. We are human beings. And while we’re on this, just because we are nice to you does not mean we are trying to fuck you. We work for tips. Remember that. So when we smile or are being polite, that does not mean that you can start making crude comments or harass us about going out with you. Especially some of you older guys. Do you really think that hot 18-year-old waitress or bartender wants to bone you over the ice cooler? HELL NO, SHE DOES NOT. So keep the creepy old man routine to yourself.

Everyone is a damn critic.

You are not. If you go out to a restaurant and have one bad experience, you really don’t need to go on Yelp and give your half-assed version of what happened.  I read through those things sometimes and wish I could find the person that wrote it so I can just punch the shit out of them. Oh my god, the place was busy and you had to wait a whole five minutes before being served?! WOW. Alert the press!!!!!  That place should be shut down this instant! What they never seem to mention is how they were the neediest group of assholes ever. They also like to leave out that they are maybe one out of 60 people a server may have in their section at any given time. For those of you who do this, stop. I personally know a guy who writes these kinds of reviews all the time. He has never served a day in his life and has no idea what it is like. Your opinion should never be heard on the matter. Ever. You have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, no matter how much you may seem to think you do. Who the hell goes out to breakfast, lunch or dinner during rush and expects to not wait? In the wise words of Jimmy Dugan, “Use your head. That’s the lump three feet above your ass.”

 The next time you go out remember that these are people that are just trying to get through life, just as you are. They have their bad days, life events, sickness and everything that you go through, as well. They really don’t need to be given as much shit as people put them through. They are not there to be your personal slave and punching bag. While doing this job, you are already given little respect as is and nobody needs you to make matters even worse. Before you go to write that review, dock the tip or ask to speak to a manager, how about you take a look around and notice the setting? If they’re busy, I’m sure they are doing the best they can. It really is not as easy as you may think that it is. You have, at any given time, about 40 - 80 people demanding things of you. Realize that. They aren’t out to ruin your precious day. So stop being such an asshole and show some appreciation to the people who bust their asses for shit pay and long hours on their feet, just so you can be lazy and not have to worry about cooking your own meal.  

Love, 

Anonymous