Moving in together

I've always been the type of person that lives alone. I've tried the roommate route, but in all honesty, I'm pretty difficult to live with. I like things a certain way. I like my alone time. In having a roommate, I constantly feel like I have to put on a show and can't just have my peace. Plus, who really wants to fight over what to watch on TV all the time? For several years I had been living on my own in a decent sized one bedroom. I would get home and not have to worry about a thing. It was wonderful.

Last winter my boyfriend of a few years had asked me to move in with him. I had been looking for a new place and the timing just felt right. We began our search immediately and ended up finding something the both of us really liked. It seemed like it all happened so fast. A few weeks later we were all moved in. He had never lived with a significant other so there was going to be a lot of adjusting on his part. I had actually lived with a former boyfriend a few years back so I knew the drill. Things about boys: they are SUPER messy. Dusting is not a word in their vocabulary and  neither is: laundry, dishes, mopping, scrubbing floors, toilets, and sharing - just to name a few.

The move in bliss didn't last too long before we started fighting like crazy. It's now been about a year and things are finally a little more cooled off. Both sides are still learning to co-exist. Some advice to all of you that are considering moving in with your significant other; make sure to get at least two bedrooms. There's nothing worse than having a fight and not being able to get away to your own space. I think it's saved us on many occasions. When you're living on top of someone, fights are bound to happen. It's being able to take some space and get a level head again that saves the relationship. Learn to let the little shit go. They are going to piss you off more in a day than they ever have before. You need to decide to yourself if it's worth a blow up. If not you need to just move on. COMMUNICATE. If both of you are getting annoyed at the little things someone is doing you need to talk about it with them.  Letting it build and build is a sure fire way to drive yourself crazy and lead to something huge you may not be able to recover from.

Guys, I know us girls are a pain in the ass. We know it too. We don't like to hear we're ever wrong, some of us can be super needy at times when we're feeling low and we need you to show us some sign of understanding when we're talking to you. A quick word of advice to make living together more smooth: 
1. Shut the damn video games off once in a while and spend time with your girlfriend. Her watching you beat the latest X-box game is NOT fun for her. Us girls don't really care that you just won the Superbowl on Madden. It just reminds us that you actually spent 10+ hours playing the thing in order to do that.
2. We know you guys are half-assed when you clean, but seeing you do it will make us smile.
3. If we're cooking you dinner, you need to come in on occasion and act interested and grateful.
4. If we do your laundry, for the love of god, put it the hell away and do NOT leave it sitting there for days. It's super aggravating.
5. Leave the effing toilet seat down. We do not like to wander into the bathroom in the middle of the
night and have our ass hit the water. It really hurts and is just plain disgusting.
6. We know you couldn't give a flying rats ass about what our friends lives are like, but we need you to listen and act semi interested anyway. It shows that you care. 
7. Don't be a remote commando.  We enjoy watching TV and movies too. When you get home or decide that you're ready for bed, you do NOT come in and just take everything over. And for some of you guys, just because you may have bought the TV does NOT in anyway, shape or form mean that you always get to decide what goes on it.
8. The attitude of, "Well I bought that," needs to be left at the front door. If you ask someone to move in with you then you are in an understanding that you share everything in your new home with your lady. So let go of the selfishness or you'll be moving back into a place alone rather quickly. Nobody wants to put up with that.

I could go on, but I think I'll just keep it nice and simple. If you can nail those basic things you and your relationship will be in a much better place.

Love, Anonymous

TOP 10 Nude scenes From a Horror Film

In honor of this wonderful day, Love, Anonymous is proud to present this Friday's TOP 10. Maybe after taking a look you'll be able to decide just how to kick off your horror movie marathon tonight. Here's your chance to cuddle up with that special someone. Fear always brings us a little closer together.


WARNING: The links  are definitely NSFW

10. Jill Schoelen - The Stepfather

 Kicking off the list, in one of the most pointless shower scenes in a horror movie, is Jill Schoelen. With dear old step-dad walking up the stairs, this brunette got naked and all soaped up. Why? Nothing more than to  get the blood boiling on all the teenage boys back in 1987.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xg51lh_jill-schoelen-nude-shower-in-the-stepfather_fun

9. Julianna Guill

 On Friday the 13th who better to have on the list other then Friday the 13th's own Julianna Guil. What guy wouldn't love for a girl to jump on top and take charge? Oh and did we mention that she does so while trying to make her own homemade porn? Yeah, I think it's safe to say that many a young boy watched this scene on repeat.  In case you missed it you can check out the scene here

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2931083/julianna_guill_in_a_awesome_sex_scene/

8. Jenna Jameson - Zombie Strippers

Unless you've been living under a rock then you definitely know our sexy siren that lands herself at number 8. You may know her more from her 100's of porn movies but this star took to the screen in this bloody flick as a dead stripper. If you've not seen the movie I recommend you do. Is it absolutely ridiculous? Of course. But there's enough T & A to last you a lifetime. Things to watch for: Jenna eating a dick (yeah yeah I know you've seen it before, but not like this) ping pong and pool balls coming out of some very interesting areas. Here's a small clip for your viewing pleasure:

http://www.joblo.com/videos/movie-clips/Zombie-Strippers---Jenna-Jameson-Strips

7. Linnea Quigley - The Return Of The Living Dead

This obsessed with death-leg warmer wearing-punk rocker bares all in this cult classic film. For those who are about to watch it, you'll wish you hadn't, as these leg warmers will infect your dreams and haunt you for years to come. 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xgjag3_return-of-the-living-dead-1985_redband

6. Drew Barrymoore - Doppelganger

You get in the hsower to get clean and it starts spraying out blood. God I hate when that shit happens!

Drew Barrymoore is definitely not a stranger to stripping down. From Dancing on late night show desks to posing for Playboy, this starlet is clearly comfortable in her own skin. She gets down several times throughout this film and moans with the best of em. Her and Jenna definitely have a few things in common.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xm5v5m_drew-barrymore-topless-in-doppleganger_redband

5. Susan Sarandon & Catherine Deneuve - The Hunger

The movie, The Hunger, was definitely a huge flop in film standards, however, the hot lesbian sex scene between now icon Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve shall live on for years to come. Who knew a little spilled wine would lead to so much pleasure. 

http://tinyurl.com/ldglz5q

4.  Barbara Crampton - Re-animator

Oh what a great scene. I mean, come on, what girl doesn't like to wake up to a little head?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xx0hdm_barbara-crampton-scream_redband

3. Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire

Alyssa caught fame as the absolutely adorable Samantha on Who's the Boss back in the 80's. Just a few years after the show aired it's final episode she did what many female celebs do to add a little extra boost to their careers; strip down for your viewing pleasure. Who knew in just a few years she would grow up to be super hot?

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/5828987/alyssa_milano_embrace_of_the_vampire_1995_nude_scene/

2. Betsy Rue -My Bloody Valentine 3D

In one of the longest naked chase scenes I have ever seen in my life, Betsy Rue lands the number 2 spot. When guys took their girlfriends to see this I don't think they knew the treat that was to come. $30.00 well spent. Amiright? 

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x95pqi_betsy-rue-my-bloody-valentine-by-de_redband

1. Heather Matarazzo & Monika Malacova - Hostel II

Never have I thought girl on girl would be taken like this. Landing in the number one spot is Heather Matarazzo & Monika Malacova of Hostel II. I guess every rich woman has her own beauty secret. Some use the foreskin of baby boys. Others simply use Oil of Olay, but not this bitch. She decided that using the blood of the young and beautiful was the way to go. Extremely disturbing with a little hotness to it I guess. 

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/2543680/monika_malacova_heather_matarazzo_are_nude/

Hope you all enjoyed. So tonight as you settle in, make that popcorn and get ready for a night of slasher flicks I hope you think of these. 

Happy Friday the 13th everyone. 

Love, Anonymous

Dear Customer,

 

 We have all seen it, and unfortunately for many of us, we have had to experience it at some point of our lives – whether it is just to put yourself through school or to pay the bills while you’re waiting for your big break. The money can be good at times, the hours surely suck, and having to deal with assholes on a regular basis is enough to send you home ready to smash your head through a wall. But for most, we just have to trek through it and bite our tongue – oh, the service industry.

I, personally, have been in the industry since I was 13 years old. I have been lucky enough to work at some great places where they actually treat their employees well but have also had the displeasure of working at some places where you can’t help but say, “Are you seriously asking me to do that?”

I remember working at a place in Florida where I constantly had annoying drunks who loved to grab my ass. I complained to my boss on many occasions about it and finally he turned to me and said, “Deal with it or I’ll find someone who will.”  After contemplating suing the shit out of them for allowing me to repeatedly be sexually harassed, I decided to just quit and cause a giant scene while doing so.  Drinks flew all over the place, a customer was punched several times in the face and I don’t think I have ever used the word “fuck” that much in my life.  My work there was done.

Now, when I go out to eat or drink with friends, I can’t help but get extremely irritated for how some of them treat their servers/bartenders. I’m never shocked when I ask them if they have ever worked as a server, and they say they have not.  I strongly believe that every person on this planet should have to work a minimum of one year in this horrible industry so they can walk a mile in the shoes of the people they are treating like shit. It may not be a job that requires you to have a PhD, but it’s a job that can be quite stressful and chaotic and, as they are humans, mistakes are bound to happen.

Tipping.

One main thing I see is people not tipping. I have actually heard a friend of mine say, “well they’re only pouring me a beer. Why should I leave them a tip?” Well, Sir, if you don’t believe you should pay someone for performing a service while you’re out at an establishment then how about you stay home and pour your own damn beer and not take their time away from another customer who understands the idea of paying for a service you are given.  Some people seem to forget that in many places these people are paid on average $2.00 - $4.00 an hour. Really, stop to think about that. Is it processing yet? And on top of it, it’s all taxed. They rely on your tips to eat, have a place to live and simply survive. Think to yourself right now; can you survive on that? I make a hell of a lot more than that at my job and I’m just scraping by half the time. So what makes you think they can? Now for all of you who sit there and calculate to the penny what your tips should be, are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how insulting it is for a person to walk around and pick up pennies after busting their ass for you? Loosen the purse straps a little and leave the bills. If you have to nickel and dime shit like that then maybe you should stay in and eat.

 

And now, for one of the biggest reasons I see servers getting docked: the food came out too slow. How is this their fault? If the kitchen was slow in cooking your food then why do you feel the need to take it out on them? They aren’t back there cooking it themselves. There is only so much they can do to make sure you get your steak in 15 minutes. They should NEVER have to suffer a loss in tips because of this, nor should they be yelled at for something they have absolutely no control over. Stop being a d-bag and use your head, please.

Your fucking ranch dressing.

One thing that always drove me crazy that people always seem to do is to order things one at a time. Why do you find this to be at all okay? If you have a large party, there is not a single reason in the world that warrants you to send a server back and forth 20 times. NOT ONE! But I have had/seen people at the table literally all order one drink at a time or ask for condiments one at a time. Is this really necessary? And then, when you don’t get EVERYTHING in seconds, to have the audacity to complain that they weren’t attentive to your needs. Trust me, you do NOT need that extra side of ranch dressing in order to have a good dinner, and when you don’t get it, that is NOT a reason for you to not tip a waitress. Especially if you look around and see she is slammed. Look down at your thighs and ass and see that I am right. You DO NOT need it, and as someone who has been a server, I can sure as shit tell you that most times people made a big deal about this, they didn’t even use the goddamn thing.  

FREE water.

I get that people drink water while they’re out, hell I’m one of them, but whether you are drinking water or a regular drink you should be tipping on this. If someone has to go out of their way to make you something and is performing a “service” then why is it okay not to? And for those of you that do not agree with me on this, fine. But don’t get pissed off when you don’t get your FREE refill to go along with it.

They’re human too.

Like everyone everywhere, we have our bad days, we get sick, we have to use the restroom, etc. Sometimes when you look around and we’re not in sight, remember this. I can’t tell you how many times I have had my tip docked because I was in the bathroom and didn’t rush right over. What would you like me to do? Piss as I’m walking around bringing you your ranch dressing and water? I highly doubt you would appreciate that. So cut your server some slack.  And your condescending jokes on the matter certainly don’t help.

Snap Snap Snap.

If we are in the middle of doing something or assisting another customer you can wait. Simple as that. You are not the most important person in the world. I don’t care how much your mother told you this growing up. I don’t give a damn if you’re famous of just another Joe Smith at the bar. Wait your turn. When they are through having to deal with someone else’s shit, I assure you they will get to you. Snapping at a server is demeaning, and I bet if we went to your place of work and starting doing that, you would get pretty pissed off. Also not okay: Grabbing us in ANY form. We are not your possessions. Keep your grubby little hands to yourselves. It’s really not a hard thing to do. It’s disrespectful. We are human beings. And while we’re on this, just because we are nice to you does not mean we are trying to fuck you. We work for tips. Remember that. So when we smile or are being polite, that does not mean that you can start making crude comments or harass us about going out with you. Especially some of you older guys. Do you really think that hot 18-year-old waitress or bartender wants to bone you over the ice cooler? HELL NO, SHE DOES NOT. So keep the creepy old man routine to yourself.

Everyone is a damn critic.

You are not. If you go out to a restaurant and have one bad experience, you really don’t need to go on Yelp and give your half-assed version of what happened.  I read through those things sometimes and wish I could find the person that wrote it so I can just punch the shit out of them. Oh my god, the place was busy and you had to wait a whole five minutes before being served?! WOW. Alert the press!!!!!  That place should be shut down this instant! What they never seem to mention is how they were the neediest group of assholes ever. They also like to leave out that they are maybe one out of 60 people a server may have in their section at any given time. For those of you who do this, stop. I personally know a guy who writes these kinds of reviews all the time. He has never served a day in his life and has no idea what it is like. Your opinion should never be heard on the matter. Ever. You have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, no matter how much you may seem to think you do. Who the hell goes out to breakfast, lunch or dinner during rush and expects to not wait? In the wise words of Jimmy Dugan, “Use your head. That’s the lump three feet above your ass.”

 The next time you go out remember that these are people that are just trying to get through life, just as you are. They have their bad days, life events, sickness and everything that you go through, as well. They really don’t need to be given as much shit as people put them through. They are not there to be your personal slave and punching bag. While doing this job, you are already given little respect as is and nobody needs you to make matters even worse. Before you go to write that review, dock the tip or ask to speak to a manager, how about you take a look around and notice the setting? If they’re busy, I’m sure they are doing the best they can. It really is not as easy as you may think that it is. You have, at any given time, about 40 - 80 people demanding things of you. Realize that. They aren’t out to ruin your precious day. So stop being such an asshole and show some appreciation to the people who bust their asses for shit pay and long hours on their feet, just so you can be lazy and not have to worry about cooking your own meal.  

Love, 

Anonymous 

The Best Kind Of Bucket List

I am a lover of all things “lists.” I make them on a daily basis at work, at home, and pretty much everywhere else I go. Who doesn’t like to stay nice and organized right? Maybe I’m O.C.D, but I just find life to be easier.

Grocery List

Things to Do

NFL Fantasy Draft players

Places I want to visit

CDC Emergency items

Things to do before you die

Baseball stadiums I would like to visit across the country

Places I want to get railed…

I mean, hey, why not? I’m a girl that knows exactly what she wants. I like to explore, be explored and have a good time. I like to try new adventurous things and be spontaneous. I’m also a girl that knows I’m not getting any younger and I only have so many chances to be crazy. 

Where it all started...

I could lie and say that growing up I always swore off sex because I didn’t want to become another high school female statistic, but in reality, I was just a huge dork and no guy wanted to touch my flat chest. It was like little nips on a wooden board. Just awful. I remember all the kids calling me “double zero.” Kids are assholes. My father, however,  was thrilled about this. He never had to have those weird moments where a boy comes to pick up his underage daughter for a date which in all reality meant dry humping in the backseat of a borrowed car. I actually didn’t even lose my virginity until a few semesters into college and oh boy was that miserable. I almost swore off all sex after that. In fact, I can name  every poster that kid had on the wall. It was way more interesting to look at those than pay attention to whatever it was he was trying to do down there.You would think he sat there trying to figure out a Rubik cube.

It wasn’t until I started dating another guy that I had realized just how amazing sex could actually be. It wasn’t just a dull missionary style of awkwardly bumping your No No parts together and waiting for the guy to just be done. I was hooked. 

Like most girls will do when they have discovered a new world and want to learn more, I turned to my lady friends. I asked them all of their craziest experiences and it was at that moment that I decided... I’m going to compile a Sex Bucket List and not settle down until everything is crossed off! Oh how grand your early twenties are. 

For those of you that don’t have one, I seriously suggest you start it. 

I love when people talk with me about it and ask about all the things I’ve done. Usually the guys are intrigued while the girls tend to just think I’m a whore. Ladies, just because you enjoy sex and are comfortable talking about it does not make you a whore. I don’t run around and bone everything walking. It’s not my style. So those who think that way while reading this blog should probably take their prudish asses and go read a blog about baking a cake or something. 

Now, I’m not going to get into what I, personally, have done. That’s for me and my partner to know. But I will say, that in doing this, my sex life has always been anything but dull. For those of you in long relationships that are lacking a tad in the bedroom department, I suggest you try a few things on this list to spice things up a bit. So after way too many words, enjoy the list!

Mark how many you’ve done. If there’s something great you think of that isn’t on my list please let me know!! Leave a comment below about it. Enjoy your nights ladies and gents.

50 shades of Grey? Pfft. That’s just what I call a Saturday night.

• Kiss a girl                              
• Threesome with 2 females
• Threesome with 2 males       
• Anal                                             
• Phone sex                                        
• Masturbate
• Use a toy on yourself            
• Use a toy on someone else                           
• Ocean sex while others swim
• Handcuffed                               
• Feather ticklers                                   
• Quickie in a skirt and heels
• Sex with someone younger               
• 69                                               
• Sex with someone much older
• Sex in a bar bathroom                                         
• Sex on the roof                                    
• Sex in a theater
• Sex at Disney land/theme park                                                              
• Sexual role play
• Sex with twins                              
• Use food/ drink during sex/ foreplay                                 
• Sex in a tent
• Sex on the hood of a car         
• Sex in broad daylight                         
• Being choked/choking someone
• Sex in shower                            
• Sex in hot tub/pool                           
• Sex up against a wall
• Strip poker with a group          
• Being spanked/spanking                  
• Giving/ Receiving oral in a restaurant under a table
• One night stand                                 
• Mile high                                   
• Sex at the drive in
• Sex in a cemetery                             
• Blindfolds                                  
• Using ice   
• Sex with pierced parts                      
• Group sex                        
• Sex in foreign country with foreigner 
• Sex on the kitchen table                
• Sex on ecstasy                          
• Show up naked only wearing a coat      
• Silent sex at a crowded house party                                                    
• Sex in a sporting arena 
• Sex in an elevator                               
• At your office during hours                   
• Lingerie sex 
• In a fitting room                             
• Sex with your boss                         
• Sex with your professor
• Sex swing                                         
• Role playing                                   
• Deserted alley at night
• Sexting                                             
• Sex tape                                        
• In mirrors
• Car sex                                          
• Giving/ Receiving oral while driving                             
• Sex in a church
• Take someone virginity                   
• Celebrity sex                                   
• Sex with siblings
• Same gender sex                        
• Porn star loud sex                          
• Get your hair pulled during sex
• Masturbate on tape for your partner to watch later                                
• Bondage
• Strip tease                          
• Write erotic story about your partner            
• Erotic massage       
• Wear a gag                                     
• Skinny dipping                                     
• Biting               
• Sex in the rain                                   
• Rough sex                                     
• Lingerie sex                           
• Marathon sex (all day in bed)        
• Sex on the beach                           
• Sex in every room in house    
• Sex with other people in the room                                                         
• Send naked photos    
• Hood of a car       

Love, 
Anonymous