While
on my way to work this morning, I was listening to the radio and they
were talking about men and women having friends of the opposite sex
while being in a relationship. When I first heard this I had an
immediate response; of course guys and girls can be friends with opposite genders. Why not? But after a few minutes and hearing some of
these stories I stood slightly undecided. I, myself, have a lot of male friends
that I enjoy hanging out with. Some of which I have known for over 10
years. So when i think about them and hanging out I don’t see anything
wrong with it. Then I started to think about the guy I’m dating. He also
has a ton of female friends. Some of which I know well and like a lot
and others I’ve never met or even heard of. He gets a text here, a call
there, but they never actually meet up and go out together (which may be
why I have no issues about it). To be completely honest, I’ve not
really had to deal with him going out alone with the girls we mutually
know either. So i don’t really know how I would actually feel about it.
But how far is too far? What is acceptable to do in a relationship and
what isn’t? One of the stories I heard today was of a man who had sent
flowers to a woman he worked with. He got caught and swore nothing was
going on. They were just close friends and he knew she was going through
a rough patch and was trying to do something nice for her. Acceptable
or not?
Now the guy I’m dating is in the “industry.” And as many of you know, being in the “industry” means a lot of dinner and drink meetings with people. Sometimes with people you barely even know, which I’ve been told, feels similar to going out on a first date. This is something I’ve not had to deal with before while dating someone but he’s always been super honest with me about it. He let’s me know who it’s with and what it’s for. I don’t even have to ask. So therefore I feel I don’t have to worry.
I decided today to ask a few of my friends about it and people were mixed. Some agreed with me that you should always let your partner know and others felt that there’s no need to have to share that information with them. It’s their own prerogative to go out with whomever they wish and their significant other has no say.
This led me to another question...
If you tell your other that you are “going out with a friend” when in actuality you are just going out with one friend who is a member of the opposite sex to avoid the interrogation is it a lie? You did say you were going out with a friend but you neglected to say that friend was a certain gender. And when hanging out when does it cross the line? Going to dinner alone? Watching a movie at the house? Club? Party? Daily texts or emails, IM'ing all day?
I talked to a friend of mine today (a guy) about girls hanging out alone with “guy friends” and I held my ground with the argument of, “I don’t want to hook up with them and would never let anything happen so what does it matter?” He said something to me that made me understand it a little better, “all guys, no matter if you place them in the friend only zone or not, only think with one part of their body. If given the chance they WILL fuck you. Whether it ruins a friendship or not. They don’t just hang out to hang out. It’s never as innocent as you may think it is or wish it was.” So now I can understand a little bit of where the jealousy comes from. But him saying that just makes me wonder now... if my guy wants to hang out with a “friend” is that all that’s going through his head too? Thoughts?
Now the guy I’m dating is in the “industry.” And as many of you know, being in the “industry” means a lot of dinner and drink meetings with people. Sometimes with people you barely even know, which I’ve been told, feels similar to going out on a first date. This is something I’ve not had to deal with before while dating someone but he’s always been super honest with me about it. He let’s me know who it’s with and what it’s for. I don’t even have to ask. So therefore I feel I don’t have to worry.
I decided today to ask a few of my friends about it and people were mixed. Some agreed with me that you should always let your partner know and others felt that there’s no need to have to share that information with them. It’s their own prerogative to go out with whomever they wish and their significant other has no say.
This led me to another question...
If you tell your other that you are “going out with a friend” when in actuality you are just going out with one friend who is a member of the opposite sex to avoid the interrogation is it a lie? You did say you were going out with a friend but you neglected to say that friend was a certain gender. And when hanging out when does it cross the line? Going to dinner alone? Watching a movie at the house? Club? Party? Daily texts or emails, IM'ing all day?
I talked to a friend of mine today (a guy) about girls hanging out alone with “guy friends” and I held my ground with the argument of, “I don’t want to hook up with them and would never let anything happen so what does it matter?” He said something to me that made me understand it a little better, “all guys, no matter if you place them in the friend only zone or not, only think with one part of their body. If given the chance they WILL fuck you. Whether it ruins a friendship or not. They don’t just hang out to hang out. It’s never as innocent as you may think it is or wish it was.” So now I can understand a little bit of where the jealousy comes from. But him saying that just makes me wonder now... if my guy wants to hang out with a “friend” is that all that’s going through his head too? Thoughts?
Love,
Anonymous
No comments:
Post a Comment