Can We Be Friends?

While on my way to work this morning, I was listening to the radio and they were talking about men and women having friends of the opposite sex while being in a relationship. When I first heard this I had an immediate response; of course guys and girls can be friends with opposite genders. Why not? But after a few minutes and hearing some of these stories I stood slightly undecided. I, myself, have a lot of male friends that I enjoy hanging out with. Some of which I have known for over 10 years. So when i think about them and hanging out I don’t see anything wrong with it. Then I started to think about the guy I’m dating. He also has a ton of female friends. Some of which I know well and like a lot and others I’ve never met or even heard of. He gets a text here, a call there, but they never actually meet up and go out together (which may be why I have no issues about it). To be completely honest, I’ve not really had to deal with him going out alone with the girls we mutually know either. So i don’t really know how I would actually feel about it. But how far is too far? What is acceptable to do in a relationship and what isn’t?  One of the stories I heard today was of a man who had sent flowers to a woman he worked with. He got caught and swore nothing was going on. They were just close friends and he knew she was going through a rough patch and was trying to do something nice for her.  Acceptable or not?

Now the guy I’m dating is in the “industry.” And as many of you know, being in the “industry” means a lot of dinner and drink meetings with people. Sometimes with people you barely even know, which I’ve been told, feels similar to going out on a first date. This is something I’ve not had to deal with before while dating someone but he’s always been super honest with me about it. He let’s me know who it’s with and what it’s for. I don’t even have to ask. So therefore I feel I don’t have to worry.

I decided today to ask a few of my friends about it and people were mixed. Some agreed with me that you should always let your partner know and others felt that there’s no need to have to share that information with them. It’s their own prerogative to go out with whomever they wish and their significant other has no say.

This led me to another question...
If you tell your other that you are “going out with a friend” when in actuality you are just going out with one friend who is a member of the opposite sex to avoid the interrogation is it a lie? You did say you were going out with a friend but you neglected to say that friend was a certain gender. And when hanging out when does it cross the line? Going to dinner alone? Watching a movie at the house? Club? Party? Daily texts or emails, IM'ing all day?  

I  talked to a friend of mine today (a guy) about girls hanging out alone with “guy friends” and  I held my ground with the argument of, “I don’t want to hook up with them and would never let anything happen so what does it matter?” He said something to me that made me understand it a little better, “all guys, no matter if you place them in the friend only zone or not, only think with one part of their body. If given the chance they WILL fuck you. Whether it ruins a friendship or not. They don’t just hang out to hang out. It’s never as innocent as you may think it is or wish it was.” So now I can understand a little bit of where the jealousy comes from. But him saying that just makes me wonder now... if my guy wants to hang out with a “friend” is that all that’s going through his head too?  Thoughts?

Love, 

Anonymous

Top 10 Sexiest Halloween Costumes!

Oh it's that special time of year again. That wonderful time when children go begging for candy, the leaves are turning beautiful colours and women all over the world are dressing up like giant skanks. Of course we all know the rule; this is the day of the year where women can dress this way and totally get away with it without judgement. (well mainly no judgement)

Everyone has their different ideas of what sexy is. Well here's our list. See what you think...

10.Sin City

Who doesn't remember Jessica Alba all sweaty dancing it up? Guy or girl it got your blood flowing. Just make sure you got the body and moves to go with it!



9.  Wonder Woman

Hot Hot Hot. What guy doesn't dream of being rescued by a sexy super hero in a tight top and booty shorts? Oh and did I mention she has a whip? Oh I'm sorry nerds, a magic lasso. 

8. Sexy Pirate

 

Arr there she blows! Or at least you boys will wish she was.

7. Ninja Babe Turtle

Okay, so maybe it's a little nerdy but so what. I think it's hot!!. Sure some of you guys would say "go with April O'Neil" but no. I think this is enough to get me going. 

6.Baseball Player

Describe the perfect woman? A girl that likes beer and sports! Well here's one for you guys. Meet a girl like this, buy her a few drinks and maybe you too will go all the way home. 

5. Nurse

um yeah I think I have a fever. Let's see anyone turn down a girl in this to fluff their pillows and give them a sponge bath.

4.  Mortal Combat Kitana

Oh come on guys. Don't act like when you played Mortal Combat in your early teen boner popping years that you didn't wish just once a sword would knock off this lethal Asian hotties top. Well now you get to see the life sized version. Let's just hope an announcer will end the night saying "finish him"

 

 

3. Cop

Breaking the law!!!  Where do we sign up? Who doesn't want a bad ass woman dominating them?
And more importantly who doesn't want a bad ass woman with handcuffs dominating them?


2. Sexy School Girl

Of course we have to have this one here. Always a favorite with the men. Good girls gone bad. If the girls looked and dressed more like this in high school I bet the guys would've had perfect attendance.


1.  Nun

Forgive me father for I have sinned... or at least come Halloween night I plan on  doing a lot of it.

Not Even Time Can Fix Some Things

I’ve known my friend, we’ll call him Max, since I was 16. Max was quite
a bit older than I was, but as I grew up, we became closer.  (I feel
like I have to preface this story, with nothing physical ever happened
between us. Ever. )

Now that that is out of the way, for the past 9 years, I have had this
man in and out of my life. We’ve gone through fights where we’ve
yelled, cried, and even stopped speaking for an extended period of
time. For 9 years, this man has been one of my absolute best friends.
He has seen my ups and downs, and my trials and tribulations. He has
been there through my fights with my parents,  boyfriends, and
friends. Our friendship will forever remain in a special place
in my heart for the things that we have shared.

However, when is the point, when the last fight you have, is just one
too many? When the words that come out of their mouth is just too much
for you to handle? When they take zero responsibility for the things
they have said, and try to turn it around on you, for it just to be
too much?

When do you realize, that as much as you love someone, you can’t love
them in the way that they need? How do you just give up someone you
have known for so long?  Is there a way to get over that kind of loss?

I still don’t have the answer to many of these. Or any of them, for
that matter.


What I do know: Our friendship and connection will never be found in
another soul. The talks we had, the experiences we shared – I know,
that I will never have with anyone else.

I figured as time went by, and he and I stopped talking, that
eventually I would realize that he and I together, were just not a
good combination. But how can you say that, when this person was
your best friend for so long? Our friendship/relationship was based
around music. There are songs to this day, that when hearing, all I
can do, is pick up the phone, and want to text him a line.

But then. I remember. I put the phone down.

I have to constantly remember the things he said to me, and not put
myself back in that situation. I need to remind myself that I deserve friends who will treat
me better and the way I deserve to be treated.


There are parts of my soul and my life, that no one will ever know, as
well as he does. Nor do I feel like telling a story can communicate
the things that I went through.  So many times, I took him back in to
my life, knowing the pain it would eventually cause me. Knowing that
our friendship had reached its expiration date. I loved this man more
dearly, and intensely, than I can put into words.

He has a son, who I watched grow up. His son is autistic, and I was
one of the few people he would allow to carry him, hold his hand, and
interact with.  For all of the other flaws that he has, he is one of
the most amazing parents I have ever seen. When the three of us were
out together, people thought we were a family. And, honestly, we were.

So, when is enough, enough? When do you cut the cord, and, do you ever recover?
If I find out, I’ll let you know….

Skeez, if you’re out there, this is for you
“But now I realize forever that you're my friend
No matter what you will never leave me to fend
I don't know much but I know we will be
As happy as a 1950's TV family
Except times infinity”

Love, Anonymous